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JESUS IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT
Welcome to the website of the Good Lord Jesus Christ, known by His friends as Baby Jesus.
Baby Jesus is a crusader for justice, shining the light of truth into the darkest corners of the world. Wherever he finds cruelty, unfairness or mediocrity, he alerts the world using the joint swords of sarcasm and disdain.
He also finds time to prattle on about his difficulties in digesting lactose-based foods.
Meet me,Jesus a young, attractive man, whose interests include playing the cello, hair care and THE PURSUIT OF TRUTH.
My chief interests are (purely academic) research into the popular hobby of STALKING and highlighting the plight of those poor unfortunates who suffer from lactose intolerance.
I will be using My website to show how My CRUSADE progresses, aswell as lurid details about My personal life.
The site has recently undergone extensive and astonishingly long overdue renovations and is consequently almost 7% less shit than before.
MARVEL at the detailed history of my personal (for academic purposes only) stalking history now living at CUSTOM PAGE 2.
GASP IN DELIGHT as you read my extensive guide to the rare and clandestine art of stalking. Full of exclusive "tips of the trade" which could improve your stalking in minutes. All this on CUSTOM PAGE 3. Ben Affleck beware.
Seriously Ben, look out, I'm outside your house with a meat cleaver and some napalm.
So, if you LAUGH LOUD AT THE INSANELY EVIL, defend your true feelings with rapier wit or believe that sarcasm can change the world,
My site is for You.
I am also open to marriage proposals, gifts of money and offers of guilt-free casual sex.
HATE MAIL.
Inevitably, not everyone believes that I am the One True Christ, so I anticipate lots of mad, threatening mail from Fundamentalists and just normal Mentalists. If this is you, don't hesitate to vent your abnormal levels of sexual frustration and sickening loneliness on this page.
Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.And those that talk to cabbages are thought mad by everyone. And kicked.
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The Man Himself relaxes in the sunshine. (courtesy of Jesus.com)
JOKE OF THE WEEK:
Jesus walks into an inn, hands the inn-keeper 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"
THE LORD GOT GAME
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